||[May. 29th, 2008|11:36 pm]
I've lost mostly everything I built up over the last couple years.|
I've lost my health, I've lost my mind, I've lost my sleep, and most of all I've lost my self respect.
Its not that I want any of it back, its not that I am apologizing, its not that I am looking for attention. I just want to grow and feel like it matters.
I walked around my neighborhood in the rain for a long time. The whole time I felt drained and tired. I started wishing the lighting in the distance would come closer and blind me with that brilliant light. I walked in the middle of the road hoping a car would stop and ask if I was okay. I want someone to care more than I care for myself.
Its all a mess, everything is a mess. Its all gone. Finished.
I can still fix what is broken but I can't seem to get the energy to work on it.
I succeeded to fail.
I failed to succeed.